Update

Its fairly difficult to follow blogs on my phone but I have started a new blog about my homeless adventures. I think you can find it at my profile if you are interested.

Mothers Day

I don't know of any mothers that read my blog... perhaps Aye does and I don't know it. Regardless I'm sure someone reads my blog who has a mother so this video still applies.

Update

I have not posted much lately for a reason. I'm hoping its temporary but time will tell. Due to the economy and perhaps some poor choices from the higher ups I was laid off along with over a third of the company about a month ago. When I crunched the numbers in relationship to my income and expenses things did not line up. I sold my place and now the numbers line up but being homeless for the last month has resulted in limited opportunities for internet access and when I do have it I am concentrating on my job search.

Story Time with Zee - Swimming with a shark

My parents were both teachers when I was growing up so we traveled a lot during spring breaks, Christmas breaks, and summer vacation. We went to Florida just about every year that I can remember through high school. One of the families favorite places in Florida to go was Saint Joseph State Park which is a peninsula located in the Gulf of Mexico on the panhandle of Florida. The following is a description of the State Park from their website:

"With miles of white sugar sand, this park has one of the top rated beaches in the United States. Sunbathing, snorkeling, and swimming are popular activities along the Gulf of Mexico and St. Joseph Bay. From offshore, canoeists and kayakers can take in a superb view of the high dunes and sand pine scrub. Outdoor enthusiasts can enjoy camping, fishing, hiking, and bicycling."

Snorkeling and swimming were activities that I would do every time I was there. There is a sandbar on the Gulf side that would trap a lot of sand dollars and other shells as the tides would come in and out. When I was around 12 years old snorkeling on the sandbar to search for shells was one of my favorite past times. This particular time I was by myself and the rest of my family was on the beach. As I snorkeled I was aware that someone was yelling somewhere but it was not the voice of either of my parents so I really didn't pay a lot of attention to it until I realized that the yelling voice was consistently getting closer. The water depth would obviously change with the tides but as I stood up on the sandbar the water was about a half a foot above my knees.

I looked down the beach in the direction of the yelling and spotted the man running down the beach repeatedly yelling something. I was focused on him trying to figure out what he was saying and I didn't make out the word "shark" until he was fairly close. It was that point that I started scanning the water and sure enough there was a shark. The man running down the beach was not very far ahead of the shark that was swimming between the sandbar and the beach. I first noticed the dorsal fin sticking above the water then about six or eight feet behind that the tail fin which also stuck out of the water. If I had started swimming as fast as I could to the beach I would have collided with the shark. I had no idea what to do but I was extremely scared. I don't recall if I pissed my pants or not but I do recall wondering if pissing my pants would attract the shark or keep it away from me. I could see the dark figure of the shark and as it passed about ten feet away from me I could see the distinct outline of the head of the hammerhead shark. I was shallow enough that I don't think the shark could have gotten to me if it wanted to but it didn't seem to care about my presence at all and continued down the beach.

After the shark was very far down the beach and I scanned up and down for other sharks I swam to shore at a speed that I am sure would give Phelps a run for his money. My parents were worried about the safety of swimming and snorkeling there so we went to the ranger station to talk to them. They informed us that hammer head sharks occasionally are able to get between the sand bar and the shore and that they like to go up and down feeding off everything that gets stuck there. They said that the type of hammer head shark that was there do not attack humans and that there has never been a shark attack at Saint Joseph State Park. As I recall my close encounter I can't help but still wonder if pissing is a good or a bad idea when sharks are close by though.

Bill 'O Reilly vs. Eminem (parody)

Herding Cats

I receive monthly newsletters that are supposed to help me as a supervisor. They contain a number of questions and answers like the following from April's newsletter:

"I have many employees and must ensure that they stay motivated. I know employees have to motivate themselves and that I can't do it for them. So what is my role in the process? How do I play an influential part in motivating employees?"

Great question right? Usually what I do to motivate my employees is reward them with the occasional lunches and cigarettes when they are doing well and point out when they are not doing well and suggest ways they can realistically improve... well that or I fire them. I post daily scrap rates and compare first shift and second shift scrap rates which seems to have created a healthy competitiveness. Anywho, that is what I do but this is what the newsletter suggests:

"It has been said that motivating a large group of employees can be like herding a group of cats. Each one is an individual, and therefore you must look at employee motivation in much the same way."

Shrug. I'm not that into cats but I have owned a couple in my adult life because my kids like them and mice don't like them. In all fairness I have never tried to herd a group of cats. So I picked up a spray bottle from the dollar store at lunch and filled it with water. To comply with safety requirements I put an MSDS sticker on it and everything showing the contents of the bottle. Dave came into my office about 20 minutes ago and asked me a stupid question. I looked him in they eye, firmly said, 'no' and sprayed him in the face with the water. I wasn't to convinced about this treat your employees like cats thing but Dave did reacted just like a cat. There was a high pitched screech and he scurried away.